The waiting

Well…the long-anticipated yard work and ‘clearing out’ is done. The garden beds look crisp with new mulch. New bushes and a tree are planted to fill in the gaps. The morning glory seeds are planted and waiting on their turn to be moved outside into the spring and summer sun.

And now we wait…

and wait…

Nashville’s bizarre weather always takes us through a couple winters and springs every year. This most recent cold spell has me angsty and ready for the warmer weather. But still I wait…

This parallels all to well the ‘clearing out’ of what no longer serves us in life and the ‘waiting’ that is often involved in new growth and change. I often hear clients’ judgements and frustrations with how long change is taking or not seeing the benefits as soon as we would like. Frustrated with themselves for ‘not doing enough’ or ‘not doing it right.’ I simply remind them, and myself often, that growth and change are a natural process that take time. Sometimes, a lot of time. Definitely more than we would like and that often brings up anxiety and discomfort.

Throughout my time as a therapist and a human on my own journey, I have come to really believe in the change process. Not the ‘if you do what I think is best then things will work out’ change process, which is what I was personally accustomed to. But sitting in the ambiguity of life. The unknowns.

When we are sitting in the unknowns, possibly one of the most uncomfortable parts of change, there is the mystery and excitement of what is to come. The possibilities are truly endless and we as humans are unable to imagine what the future may hold.

The change process I believe in is slow. Very slow sometimes. It involves the minor shifts in our thought processes, the way we see ourselves and others, the way we talk to ourselves, and even some behavior shifts.

How do we ‘make it through’ this slow and sometimes daunting time of waiting?

Be kind to ourselves.

I say it again, be kind to ourselves.

Practice offering yourself statements of self-kindness and encouragement instead of self-criticism and judgement.

Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend instead of your worst critic.

Take time to do the things you have put off that bring you joy.

Journal freely about where you are and the frustrations or excitements you may be feeling.

Reconnect with old friends or peers who you have thought about and miss hearing their voice.

Slow down….slow down…slow down

Life is not a race and when we live like it is, we miss out. We miss out on the small momentary wins, the smiles of other people around us, laughing with our friends and family, sitting with the struggles of a friend, offering hope to then hopeless and noticing the small shifts in ourselves.

Can we slow down to notice the present-moment joys while we wait in the discomfort of what is to come?

With love,

Chelsea